Arghghghghggghhhh i wish i was in a spa with a rich husband paying for me to look beautiful. I've had some photos taken of me for our new updated website. Honestly there were 200 of me to choose from and in every one i had crinkly saggy baggy eyes or that horrible soft old woman's chin/cheeks or my hair looked see-thru etc. etc. it was so depressing ... :(( when i was younger every photo of me was lovely and now i look like an old sad old old woman.
Seriously, I may have to seriously look into that eye bag and hooded eye surgery I was thinking about (not to have them put ON, have them take OFF) it is so depressing :((
On a hopeful note, I am being weighed later. I hope to have lost at least 2lbs as I've been ultra good this week (apart from last night where I drank too much wine and ate a bag of Walkers Baked crisps)!! wish me luck.
Bags xxxxx
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Oh Bags,
I know what you mean about photos - as you know I've had the horrendous job of hunting some old ones out for my birthday - and I now have to go through the hellish torture of seeing them projected on the wall in the bar at the Borough Hall. I've chosen mine carefully, and veered towards anything under thirty with good lighting. But Gill has been emailing people willy nilly asking them to send her any pics they have of me. I am praying to god that she won't have included the utterly hideous one of me about two stone overweight and bra-less, wearing a clingy red spotty dress and looking like jabba the hut. I want to cry every time I see that one. But I know that to my utter shame it will be there, along with other just as sick-making evidence of my misshapen mass.
When you book in for your deputy dawg op, please book me in too for a full face and body lift. OMG I saw the most horrible thing the other day and I apologise in advance, but you are the only person I can ever share this with. I was sitting naked at my dressing table and turned round to grab something, legs akimbo. I caught sight of my Fann-ann tut full on in the mirror - OMG it has gone all saggy, crinkly and GREY - grey skin I mean not even hair! The lips (sorry this is so graphic) resemble a clam - kind of frilly but not in a nice way. Overall it looks (and I kid you not) like an elephants arse! How can Ben bear to even go near it?! I am turning into a shambling gargantuan monstrosity of a woman with an overblown blimp of a body...this is what life does to us crones. This is where I am heading fast. I don't know whether to laugh or throw myself off Beachy Head.
xxxxx
When you book in for your deputy dawg op, please book me in too for a full face and body lift. OMG I saw the most horrible thing the other day and I apologise in advance, but you are the only person I can ever share this with. I was sitting naked at my dressing table and turned round to grab something, legs akimbo. I caught sight of my Fann-ann tut full on in the mirror - OMG it has gone all saggy, crinkly and GREY - grey skin I mean not even hair! The lips (sorry this is so graphic) resemble a clam - kind of frilly but not in a nice way. Overall it looks (and I kid you not) like an elephants arse! How can Ben bear to even go near it?! I am turning into a shambling gargantuan monstrosity of a woman with an overblown blimp of a body...this is what life does to us crones. This is where I am heading fast. I don't know whether to laugh or throw myself off Beachy Head.
xxxxx
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oh Botox
oh oh oh
oh
It's like living death this growing old lark.
I feel like our faces and bodies are literally sagging and crumbling away while we are still moving about -- a bit like living a half-life, or a pair of old zombies.
you have hit the nail on the fanny head too, about how the bits you love and men find most precious decay along with us.
My right breast was always my best and my most favourite breast - full, ripe, pert, bigger than the left by a fair bit, lovely nipple placement, perky and sexy. Now it seems to be shrinking back into its skin leaving a deflated bag behind topped with a wrinkled sunken-in nipp. My left boob is now the bigger of the shrunken two. I hate it when i am lying in bed (bra-less) and my man goes to feel my ex-best tit and he gets a strange handful of baggy flappage instead of a rounded beautiful breast.
:((
The years the years.
There's only one thing for it. live fast, and die young (well, before we are really decrepit).
Bags
xxxxx
oh oh oh
oh
It's like living death this growing old lark.
I feel like our faces and bodies are literally sagging and crumbling away while we are still moving about -- a bit like living a half-life, or a pair of old zombies.
you have hit the nail on the fanny head too, about how the bits you love and men find most precious decay along with us.
My right breast was always my best and my most favourite breast - full, ripe, pert, bigger than the left by a fair bit, lovely nipple placement, perky and sexy. Now it seems to be shrinking back into its skin leaving a deflated bag behind topped with a wrinkled sunken-in nipp. My left boob is now the bigger of the shrunken two. I hate it when i am lying in bed (bra-less) and my man goes to feel my ex-best tit and he gets a strange handful of baggy flappage instead of a rounded beautiful breast.
:((
The years the years.
There's only one thing for it. live fast, and die young (well, before we are really decrepit).
Bags
xxxxx
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